A Review of The Worst of Me by Where She Grows

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I am not a poetry person and yet here I am, reviewing my second book of poetry. This time, it’s The Worst of Me by Where She Grows.

I have found that for me to enjoy poetry, it not only has to be straightforward, without too much flowery language or subtext, but it has to be subversive. By that, I mean it has to have some spice to it, a little attitude. I’m more of a poetry-about-rage kinda girl than a sonnets-about-summer-days person. If you can stuff some anger into iambic pentameter and season it with cuss words, then I’m more likely to be interested.

Ironically, sonnet 18 is in iambic pentameter, so perhaps it needs more swears…

The Worst of Me

I first came across Where She Grows (Real name Alisha Christensen) as a suggested follow on instagram. You know how the algorithm suggests new accounts for you to follow based on proximity, aesthetic, or interest? Somehow, Where She Grows popped into my feed with her poetry, despite the fact that I’m not a fan of poetry, and I was only following one poet. Still, every time she hit my news feed, the poetry in question was something from this book. And every piece the machine fed me resonated. So I bought the book.

The poems in this book are largely reflective. There is love lost, with herself or with a lover. There is anger at an acquaintence or at her own choices. But all of them carry an undercurrent of power, and a reminder that all feelings are temporary. Especially the bad ones.

When The Worst of Me arrived in the mail, I was also struck by the fact that the physical book is very “wreck this journal,” with a plain black cover and large blank spaces on some of the pages. By design, it turns out, the author wants you to participate in the book. There are prompts to add in a photo or write on the page. There are doodles you can add to if you want. The author’s note even suggests using the book to press flowers or add in your own poetry.

And the book is designed so that you won’t mind writing on the pages. The poetry is all hand written or typed on a typewriter and scanned in, complete with edits and scribbled out bits, which makes it feel like an incomplete notebook, begging for your additions, thoughts, criticisms, or random doodles. There are also old newspaper cuttings and periodic single lines, more passing ideas than poems. Some might even be classified as calls to do mischief.

Who Is This For?

I think the poetry of where she grows is for just about anyone. If you’ve ever lost a love, lost love for yourself, or been in love with the absolute worst person (even if that person was you), you are going to find something extremely relatable in Alisha’s poetry. In the case of The Worst of Me, both the poetry and the design of the book are intellectually accessible, though I would also say that the design does not lend itself very well to accessibility for the visually impaired and may be a struggle for dyslexic people or those with any form of aphasia, due to the typewritten and handwritten fonts.

If you have ever had the thought that you might not be a good person after all, or you suffer with perfectionism, then The Worst of Me will speak to you. It may even be strangely reassuring to know you aren’t alone, and that bad choices or anger do not make you a bad person. The Worst of Me acknowledges women as sexual beings, mischief makers, and instigators, and acknowledges that we cast shadows and then play in their depths.

This book is like a piece of performance art. It invites you to acknowledge the “bad” and subversive parts of you without judgement or shame, the bad decisions, the reckless ones. It invites you to sit in the darkness for a while and revel in what you’ve done, even if it didn’t end that well, and to heal and be creative in the process. Where She Grows wants to acknowledge the whole, imperfect person and celebrate it, or at least give permission for you to mess up.

Where She Grows also invites you to be a part of the poetry, rather than just an observer, by offering space for you to insert your own poetry or add to the existing works in the book. There are prompts throughout encouraging you to vandalise the pages, add drawings and notes, participate in the creation of art and feel your feelings. She wants you to give voice to the mistakes or the bad choices that maybe didn’t seem that way at the time.

I think The Worst of Me is especially timely because of the swell of negative emotions floating around in the zeitgeist right now. It reminds us that we do all have negative emotions and we aren’t alone in that; it’s part of the human experience. This book uniquely encourages you to feel those emotions and give them a voice and a space to exist, which I think can be healing. I think this book of poetry is a reminder that life isn’t all sunshine and roses… and that’s OK. Years from now, maybe you can look back on what you added and see how things have changed.

Mhairie Robb