“For the past 10 years I’ve been going non-stop to build my project and it’s come to the point that I need to draw lines and set boundaries,” singer Chappell Roan said in an Instagram post in August, following what she described as a series of “nonconsensual physical and social interactions.”
“I just need to lay it out and remind you, women don’t owe you shit.“
Whether or not followers believed that Roan’s comments stemmed from an irrational fear or an attempt to garner attention (as if she had to explain herself at all), a profile of Roan that ran in Rolling Stone provided more context: She had a stalker who showed up at her parents’ home in Missouri and at her hotel room in New York. The article also revealed that a fan grabbed and kissed her without her consent.
In one instance, fans even figured out her flight info when she was traveling to Seattle. Roan revealed that one fan berated her after she declined to sign an autograph, necessitating the arrival of airport police. When she returned to Los Angeles, the same man was waiting at the airport with the paparazzi.
If you think things like invasion of privacy are par for the course—or even the price of fame—you may perceive Roan as terse or off-putting. But as discussed in a post here about stan culture and parasocial relationships, we’ve seen what can happen when lines between celebrities and their fans aren’t clearly drawn. We know what can happen when fans feel entitled or emboldened enough to breach a celebrity’s privacy. The conversation about boundaries Chappell has started may be uncomfortable, but it’s overdue and required.
Chappell isn’t the first, nor the last, celebrity to talk about the drawbacks of fame. When Simone Biles withdrew from the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she cited mental health issues as the primary reason. She explained how these issues culminated in the “twisties,” a word for when gymnasts lose control of their bodies while airborne.
“I have to focus on my mental health and not jeopardize my health and well-being,” the 24-year-old said. “I know I brush it off and make it seem like pressure doesn’t affect me but damn sometimes it’s hard.”
Biles reminded the public that pressure has mental and physical effects. That the public’s expectations (read: entitlements) perpetuate a vicious cycle where their talent suffers. Though it should have gone without saying, she had to remind folks that she is a human who has a livelihood outside of athletics.
“It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away.”
Roxane Gay
Like Roan, Biles is also no stranger to having her privacy violated. In 2016, Biles spoke candidly about her ADHD diagnosis—which came to the public’s attention after Russian hackers leaked her and other U.S. Olympians’ medical information.
Biles then assured folks that her medications did not give her an unfair advantage in gymnastics. I’d be lying if I said I did not find it maddening that Biles—the victim of a crime—(rightfully) knew it was imperative to defend her accolades in the same breath due to misconceptions about her private medical information.
It’s worth noting that women in general face pushback and violence when they establish and maintain boundaries. They’re told they should be grateful to get attention at all. They’re called a bitch or ungrateful when they do not respond positively to having their privacy violated with doting adoration. Regarding celebrities, it isn’t a singular voice expressing these sentiments—it’s a chorus.
The Takeaway on Celebrity Boundaries
Respecting and recognizing boundaries should be the default position,not the exception. It’s easy to connect with people who create something you admire and love, but expecting them to relinquish their safety and privacy as a “thank you” for their fame is not the direction we should go in.
FBC contributor Tayler previously wroteabout the romanticization of stalking, which offers more insight into how we got into this predicament in the first place and why it’s so problematic.
